Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I can count

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Why do siblings (or other close relatives) stop visiting each other as they grow older? Why does this happen with so many people nowadays?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Microsoft Confirms Password Deletion—Now Just 8 Weeks Away - Forbes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Towards topological quantum batteries: Theoretical framework addresses two long-standing challenges - Phys.org

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

'Club World Ca$h Grab': Players don protest shirts at pregame - Sounder at Heart

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

"D Gukesh Was Blindly...": Magnus Carlsen's First Reaction After Loss To Indian GM - NDTV Sports

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Charting the Global Economy: US GDP Falls on Larger Trade Hit - Bloomberg

I see through liars

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

We Were Made To Believe These 35 Foods Are Healthy And Doctors Are Explaining Why They Aren’t - Bored Panda

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Wastewater is now helping track measles spread around the US - CNN

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Hand Sanitizer Isn't As Effective At Killing Germs As You Think — Here's What You Need To Know - HuffPost

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I’m Considering Asking My Female Friend to Do Something Many Women Would Never Agree To - Slate Magazine

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

UFC women's GOAT explains why she thinks Julianna Pena will dominate Kayla Harrison at UFC 316 - Bloody Elbow

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Stroll needed "urgent medical attention" for pain after qualifying - FIA · F1 - RaceFans

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Hillary thinks we must censor or "we lose total control". Why does she demand total control?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I can read

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I actually pay taxes

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”